Things Are Not Always As They Appear

Have you ever found yourself looking at a situation only to learn that your interpretation of the event was not accurate? I am amazed by how many times that has happened in my life.  

Last Saturday evening I was studying in my favorite chair when suddenly I heard squealing tires and a loud crash. This is a sound I’ve heard several times in life but never while sitting inside my home. We live in a quiet neighborhood where there is not a lot of traffic, so it totally caught me by surprise. My first thought, because our house is located at a T intersection, was that somebody was driving too fast and slid right through the stop sign and plowed into my car, which was parked on the street. Tami and I rushed outside to the scene and quickly jumped to our conclusions of what had just happened.  

There were skid marks at the front of our house that showed a vehicle turning and missing my car and our mailbox by less than 10 feet. The vehicle was going so fast it couldn’t stay on the road, and it hit the curb in front of our neighbors’ house so hard that it broke the concrete. It went up into their yard and you could see the tire tracks that showed where the vehicle swerved back onto the road. At the speed the vehicle was traveling it could not stay on the road, and skid marks showed how it swerved to the right and, losing control, crashed into a mailbox. An SUV was sitting there smashed and a mess.  

By the time Tami and I got outside, all of our neighbors were also walking out of their homes trying to figure out what happened. As we looked around and saw the things I just described, we all figured that whoever was driving the vehicle was still inside of it. At that moment a police vehicle pulled up to the intersection and everyone started pointing to the smashed-up SUV a few houses down. The police officer turned the corner and drove to the SUV but didn’t stop. He kept driving, and we were all confused. We watched him drive to the end of the street and turn right where all the neighbors down there were pointing down the street. I told Tami that the driver must be on foot and running to get away. We could hear the siren down the road behind our house now, and a few seconds later we saw the police vehicle turn onto a main road and disappear. We were all trying to put the pieces together. What really happened was that the vehicle that had crashed into the mailbox had been hit by the out-of-control driver who just kept driving, trying to get away. It showed us how off we can be when looking at an event without seeing it actually happening.

In life, there are times when I analyze what is happening around me and think that I have it all figured out, only to discover that I am so off with my assumptions. We all have those moments when we are going through a situation and trying to analyze why it’s happening. Or maybe we are facing a difficult time in life and we attempt to figure out the reasons behind it. What I learned Saturday is that things are not always as they appear. Sometimes things are their toughest right before the breakthrough comes. The events I’m experiencing are not necessarily God trying to get me back on track, but may instead be events that need to happen so that God’s plan can unfold. Don’t over-analyze, but instead stay in prayer and seek God’s will for your life. 

Home Sweet Home

Tonight is the night! Over the past few months we have lived with family while work was being done to our house. There were times when it seemed like I’d never get to sleep in my bed again, but all that ends in just a few hours.  

To be honest, it really hasn’t been bad, but I like exaggerating the truth a little. What I’m really feeling is that I’m a very blessed man. Tami and I walked through our home and we are so excited about what God has allowed us to do. A home is a place where we get to relax and refresh, a place where we get to enjoy being with family and friends, and a place to reflect on where I am in the Lord.  

Tami and I were fortunate to grow up in homes where love was displayed daily. When we got married our goal was to create that same environment in our home, and Tami is fabulous at creating that atmosphere. There are so many things that demand our time and attention, and if we’re not careful we forget about the importance of our home. When I go home I need to remind myself that this is a place where I get to pour my life into the lives of those who are most precious to me. I need to remind myself that there are times when I need to turn work off and build my family. I do understand the demands of life, but I also know that I can always be working if I’d like; yet that is not bringing value to my loved ones. I remember that my dad, as busy as he was because of working two jobs, always came home to sit with the family for dinner. I have so many great memories from sitting around the table, laughing and sharing together. Then there were times we sat down together as a family to watch a TV show. We only had one television in our home, and it only had four stations, but I remember laughing and playing around during commercial breaks. Other times we played a game and spent quality time building our love for each other.

I’m not saying that we all need to build our families in the same way, but rather that we need to find a way to build the bond of love in our families. That is done by making your home a place where everyone feels unconditional love and acceptance. 

Choose Me!

When I was growing up, there was one fear I battled because of being smaller than most boys my age.  It could hit me before or after school, during recess, or possibly when I’d go to gym class.  It was the fear of being picked last.  I didn’t want to be the kid that was picked last and that caused me to be very cautious, even fearful of getting involved.  Most people would think that it’s not a big deal, but those who’ve battled this fear understand that this fear can range from athletic activities to several other areas of life.


I normally work out on my way home from the office, but I had a late morning meeting earlier this week and decided to go to a class before going to the meeting. When I arrived, the class was being led by an instructor that I’d never had before. The class had 3 men and about 20 women, which normally doesn’t mean anything, but for some reason at the end of class the instructor decided that he wanted us to pair up with somebody. I quickly looked at the men, only to see that one of them was there with his wife or girlfriend, so he was immediately out of the mix. I looked at the second gentleman, who was sitting on a bench with a towel over his head—it was very evident he was “done” with this class, as he was about ready to pass out—so I knew I couldn’t ask him to be my partner. That meant I would have to pair up with a woman. The class was made up of women who ranged in age from their late twenties to their early forties. I started looking around in an attempt to make eye contact with someone who’d be willing to be my partner, but I noticed that the women were pairing up or not even looking my direction.

There was one woman in class who was a seasoned woman. She was in her mid-sixties and had struggled throughout the class because of its intensity. Nobody pursued her as a partner and, sure enough, her eyes locked with mine and she mouthed, “Do you have a partner?”

No, I didn’t, so I ended up partnering with this seasoned woman who could barely keep up with class for the last 15 minutes of exercise. In that moment I felt like I’d come full circle in life. I went from the kid who feared being the last one picked to the man who is getting older and is the last one being picked. I understand that this is a totally different situation, but the thought did run through my mind and gave Tami a good laugh when I told her the story.

During our lives we will all come across situations where we may question if we’re good enough to not be chosen last. God answered that question by allowing Jesus to come and give His life for each of us. We shouldn’t have to go through life living under the fear of being last because God made us just the way He wanted us. Develop the gifts and talents God placed inside of you, and don’t be afraid to step up when given the opportunity. Don’t wait to be chosen—you choose to step out in confidence. 

Happy Mother's Day

I want to express a few thoughts about how blessed I am to have a wonderful mom and mother-in-law and to be married to an amazing mom.

Growing up in a family with five children is a challenge. And yet, even with all of the challenges of life, I was blessed to have a mom who was always there. When school dismissed and I got home, I always knew she would greet me and ask about my day. When I had special projects due at school, I knew that Mom would sit with me to help and make sure it was just right. As a family we sat around the table to eat dinner together every evening. Our laundry was always done and our house clean. All of the little things that I took for granted, I now realize were important things that required planning and preparation to be ready on time.

But it wasn’t just taking care of our physical and educational needs because Mom was a force in molding my life spiritually. She was the one I heard praying for me and saw leading by example through involvement in ministry at the church. Mom was the one kneeling by me when I asked Christ to be my Savior. She encouraged me to pursue God’s plan for my life and do whatever I had to do to accomplish that plan. She was the one who took the time to get up and help me when I had bad earaches as a kid, sat with me in the hospital when my appendix had burst and I was not very pleasant, and was there when I walked down the aisle to receive my diploma when I graduated from college. I’m so thankful for a mom who was there with me every step of the way and is still there when I call her today.

My mother-in-law first entered my life as the wife of the new pastor of the church I grew up in. She poured into my life through teaching me about ministry and impacting people in the church. And she was most helpful in helping me understand her daughter, who caught my eye. When we went through rough patches, she offered counsel and always allowed us to figure it out without forcing her choices on us. When untrue rumors were going around about us as a young couple, she didn’t try to fix the problem but simply asked one question: “Is it true?” When we told her it wasn’t, she told us to quit worrying about it and move on with life because the problem was not our problem! I’ve had many wonderful discussions about life and ministry with my mother-in-law, and I will always be thankful for those times she invests in me.

Then there’s Tami—a devoted and loving mom. I know that most of the men reading this would be able to say the same thing about their wives, but I want to say thank you, Tami, for being the mom you are to our children. You are the glue that holds us together and our kids have become the wonderful adults they are because of you. You did all the stuff that I couldn’t do to keep them on track. You have taught our children what it is to be loved and to love, and now they are impacting others from what you’ve taught them.

There you have it: three amazing women who have impacted my life.