Did I Lose My Man Card?

I’m caught in a dilemma and need help determining whether I’ve crossed a line. As many of you know, I’m not ashamed to call myself a “Metro Male.” I like looking good and do things that would not be considered very manly. I have a rough time with hair growing in all the places I don’t want it to grow, so I take care of it as well as a few other primpy type things. 

Last week Tami asked me to run some errands for her before she had to leave on a two and a half week business trip. I don’t mind running errands to help make the packing process easier for Tami, but I have to ask if I’ve lost my man card. Last Friday, I came in after doing some yard work and found a list of things that I needed to do that day. The first items were running by a couple of pharmacies and picking up some snacks and dry cleaning. Then came four items that would require going to the ladies section of a few stores. These are not typical items that you just run in, grab, and head out, but rather the intimate apparel items for which you may require a consultant. I know that some of you are thinking that I’ve bought this type of stuff before, and while that may be true, it was of a different variety than the stuff I had to purchase on Friday. So not only was I going to purchase these items, but I had to go to three different stores for them.

I went to the first store and quickly found the needed item. Not approached by any sales personnel, I was out of the store in less than five minutes. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as I thought. Store number 2 is where problems began to surface. I was quickly approached by a sales consultant and figured I should tell her what I was looking for so that my shopping experience would end sooner. She took me directly to the items I was in search of and found the sizes I needed. Great, this will be a fast stop too! Then she did it—she started pulling out other varieties and colors that I might want to buy. What started off to be a fast, five-minute purchase now involved intimates spread all over a counter and the pressure of buying them because they would look so good. Whenever I get nervous I start to sweat above my upper lip, and I was sweating….I just wanted to pay my bill and leave. The consultant proceeded to tell me that they had some new items in the back that I’d really like and she’d go get them. That’s when I let my manhood rise to the top and said, “No thanks, I’ll check out now!” She checked me out and I bolted for my car. After that I had one last stop and waited until nobody was around before I went in for the buy. What a day….

So, do I lose my man card after an experience like that? I grew up in a family where my dad would have never considered doing something like that and I don’t think my father-in-law would have either. I am friends with a lot of macho men that I just can’t picture ever doing something like this because they are so macho. I know in life we are all going to have those days when we’re asked to do things that take us way out of our comfort zone. I’ve come to realize that it’s worth the risk if I can help make somebody else’s day a little easier. Whether it’s buying those intimate items, helping with a task, or just opening my mouth to offer encouragement and support, it’s worth the risk. 

Editing Life

A show that I’ve come to enjoy over the past few years is called “Master Chef.” I’m drawn to the show because I love to eat good food and cooking it is almost as fun. The basis of the show is that every contestant is a home chef. They face various challenges that require them to cook dishes that you’d find in quality restaurants. Some of the dishes are highly technical dishes to make, while others are based on understanding the skills of baking. 

I remember the first few seasons watching the show and wondering how in the world these home chefs knew how to make every dish they were challenged to cook. They would share how they’d never made the dish but would produce these unbelievable replicas. The longer I watched, the more it puzzled me, until one day I realized that there is this wonderful tool that is used when creating these one-hour shows that we watch each week. That tool is called “editing.”

When the chefs are challenged to create a dish, I believe that several things happen behind the scenes. I believe they are able to ask questions and are given some clues on how a dish is prepared. I believe there are times when they get to taste the dish and discover flavors that may be hidden inside. And I believe that there are some dishes, especially those that are baked, for which they are given recipes. I believe this because baking is not about finesse and taste but precise measuring and following the directions for the dish to turn out right. So with editing the producers can take several hours to get the right footage to create one hour of exciting television.

In my day to day life, there are times I wish I could eliminate some of my actions because I know I can do better. I can’t go back and edit out those times, but I also don’t have to let them determine my future. I have the recipe for a successful and productive life found through the Word of God and all I have to do is follow that recipe. I can’t edit my life—in fact, I remember my mistakes and can relive them over and over—but this is what I need to remember: God is the ultimate editor who promises to never remember my failures. Once I ask for forgiveness, he wipes the slate clean and will never bring it back again. He also promises to give me the proper tools to live life to its fullest and make a powerful impact on those around me. Discover what God has for you and let him edit out your past failures. Forget the past and look forward to the great things you’re going to produce through your life this week. 

The Bullard's Go Skeet Shooting

A few days ago Tami and I had the opportunity to go away with some family for a mini-vacation. We were at the Lazy G Ranch near Clifton and had a wonderful time just relaxing. While there, we did something that neither of us had ever done before: skeet shooting. We found a place where we could do some target shooting, and I watched as those with us shot skeet with relative ease. I wondered if I’d be able to hit one of those flying discs. 

My turn came and I felt a little nervous as I walked up holding the shotgun. I battle with the fear of looking silly because I can’t do something. That’s called pride, and pride can keep you from enjoying many fun things in life. More importantly, it can prevent great things from happening in your life because you want to avoid any type of failure. I took the shotgun and approached the shooting line. Along with never having shot skeet, I also had never fired a shotgun before, so a lot of thoughts were going through my mind: Is this going to kick? Will it hurt my shoulder? Where do I aim? I asked several questions and quickly processed that information so I knew what to do. With that, I was ready, and shot skeet for the first time in my life. I don’t think I was too bad because I hit 50% of the skeet I shot at. So even though I wasn’t perfect, I enjoyed this first-time experience.

Tami was next. Like me, Tami had never tried to shoot skeet, and she too had never fired a shotgun. Like me, Tami asked several questions, and as she stood there my brother-in-law offered to tell her when to shoot. Without her noticing, he moved to a safe position to her side and held a shotgun. When she said she was ready, the skeet was sent into the air. He said “Fire!” and Tami shot her gun. At the same time he fired his shotgun and hit the skeet with ease. Tami was so excited because she thought she’d hit the skeet, and everybody played along with that thought. It was fun watching her celebrate such a great victory. I wish we’d left well enough alone, but Tami shot again and this time my brother-in-law’s timing was off. He shot his rifle a moment after Tami had fired hers and she heard it. She quickly realized that he shot the skeet and not her and laughed along with the rest of us at the prank.

We had such a great weekend and thank the Gaffney family for letting us enjoy a few days away. I was also reminded that I can’t let the fear of failure keep me from enjoying the fun and challenging things that come in life. If I’m going to experience success in all areas of my life, I need to be willing to step out of my comfort zone. 

Brynley's Not Going To Be Happy

Today is an exciting day for our family...our granddaughter is going to start her first day ever to a Mother’s Day Out program. Unfortunately for her, I don’t think she will have the same excitement that I have about her first day of school. Brynley is very attached to her mom and does not like it when mom is not close by. She will be going through the dreaded “separation anxiety.” Every child goes through it at some point, but most of them adjust quickly to the circumstances. I’m really questioning if Brynley will fall into that category. You see, Brynley is the only grandchild for both sides of her family. She is always with adults and she rules when she is around. She brings so much joy and laughter into our lives, and she is really smart and entertaining. Still, she’s also very good at letting you know what she doesn’t want. She will hold up her hand, shake it, and say no, making sure you understand that she is not in the mood for what you want to do. On top of that, it’s not very pleasant when Brynley goes to her nursery class on Sundays because she wants to be with her mom. We all know Brynley needs to work through this, so the decision was made that she would attend Mother’s Day Out for the rest of its summer session.

I remember when Krystal, Brynley’s mom, was five and getting ready to begin kindergarten. She was so excited and had worked through the separation stuff much earlier in her life. With Tami and me in full-time ministry, she was always handed off to adults when we were working at the church. So she was excited as we went to school that first morning. Our family all walked Krystal to school and to her class, and she sat with all the other first-day students while the parents stood around outside of the class. Sounds like a beautiful setting—until you learn that over half the students were crying, the moms were crying, and to me it was a very funny scene. Krystal was in shock and looked to us because she didn’t know if she should cry or not. We assured her everything was fine, and she went on and had a great first day of school.

As a Christian, I want my life to make a difference in the lives of others. To do that I must be willing to step out into uncomfortable territory. That means I may have to face my own type of separation anxiety because I like the normal and comfortable. Life is about taking steps of faith, and it’s the same for anyone who is going to do anything great for the Lord. Stop making excuses and waiting until you feel like you’re ready. What can you do today to step out in faith and impact a life?

Pushing the Limits

Have you ever had one of those days when choices you made earlier caused you a lot of turmoil? I did on Monday and just have to share it with you. I drive a car that has sport tires on it that cannot be rotated and have a life of about 25,000 miles. I’ve known for a few months that it was time to replace the tires but kept thinking that I would do it next week. Part of this was due to really busy days and not wanting to take the time, but the other part was my desire to get the most out of the tires that were on the car.

On Monday morning I was driving to the office but needed to stop for gas on the way. I was getting off the highway in Grapevine and suddenly felt a funny wobble coming from the back of my car. I drove to the gas station because the wobble had stopped when I was driving straight. As I turned into the gas station, it happened again, and I knew that I had a tire going flat. At the pump, I walked around the car and discovered that my tire had rolled its final mile. No problem, I thought, I’ll put on the spare and drive to the tire store to get new tires.

I opened the trunk and started digging around for the tire. I was surprised to find an electric pump, a first aid kit, and other helpful items, but I couldn’t find a jack or a spare tire. I thought that I had to be looking in the wrong place because who would build a car without a spare tire? After a few minutes of searching I called the dealership where I purchased the car and explained the situation. They told me that it was not uncommon for my style of car to lack a spare tire…REALLY? So now I’m sitting at a gas station with a tire that can’t be repaired and no way to even get the car in a state that it can be driven for a couple of miles. I ended up having to call a tow truck to tow my car to a tire store, and in the process I wasted half a day. Oh, one final thing about the new tire installation. I sat and watched as they mounted my new tires to the wheels (rims), but then the wheels wouldn’t go back onto the car. The rear tires are larger than the front tires and they had put the tires onto the wrong wheels and had to take them off and do it all over again. Ugh…

What I learned is that in trying to save myself a few weeks of wear and tear I ended up losing a lot of valuable time. I’m thankful for the tow company and the tire company for helping me get back on track, but if I’d only replaced the tires when I knew I should have, this problem could have been avoided. We all have things in our lives that we know need some change but we keep thinking that we’ll do it next week. We’re living right on the edge, and if we don’t deal with the issue it will lead to bigger issues. Make today the day that you change those things and get back on secure ground. If you deal with the issue today, you will never get caught needing a spare tire and a jack.

The Cost of Freedom

Last week I was captivated by the events surrounding the 70th anniversary of D-Day. It was June 6, 1944, when some 156,000 American, British, and Canadian forces landed on five beaches along a 50-mile stretch of the heavily fortified coast of France’s Normandy region. The invasions began at 6:30 a.m. One of the landing areas was Omaha Beach, where U.S. forces faced heavy resistance and over 2,000 Americans would give their lives in the hope of freedom for all people. By the end of the day, Allied troops had successfully stormed Normandy’s beaches. More than 4,000 Allied troops lost their lives in the D-Day invasion, with thousands more wounded or missing.

These soldiers fought, with many giving their lives, so that we could live in a country where every citizen was given the opportunity to dream. And not only to dream, but to live in a place where those dreams could become a reality. A place where we didn’t have to live in fear of a government that would try to limit those dreams or the hard work it would take to reach them. Everything I am today is because of those men and women who have sacrificed to ensure I have the right to make choices for my life.

As I was reflecting on those sacrifices, I couldn’t help but wonder what those brave soldiers would think of what America is becoming. It seems as if our regard for dreaming and working hard is slowly being replaced by a society in which we expect others to take care of us. America is a great country because Americans have always taken pride in working hard and getting the task done. We lived in a country that encouraged us to worship God and love our neighbors, but that has changed. Today I see so many that feel like they are owed something because they are Americans. The attitude seems to be: What can I get without effort because I’m entitled to it? We have to remind ourselves of what made America great and start teaching that to our children. And not only teach it, but start sacrificing to ensure they can enjoy the America that men and women sacrificed to pass on to us. A great nation where dreams can come true!

Jesus Christ came to this world 2000 years ago to offer each of us hope. Hope of a relationship and eternal home with God. He died on a cross to pay the price for my sin and your sin. That’s been the message of the church, and many men and women have died to preserve that message of hope. Over the past several years I’ve seen churches that have started to compromise that message, telling people that certain sins are acceptable to God and that Jesus is one of several ways to have a relationship with God. Just as my heart breaks because of those who are trying to destroy the America I have come to love, it breaks even more from those who are bringing a message that will destroy a person for eternity. Please don’t fall to the lies that compromise the message of the gospel. Jesus Christ is “the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through [Him]” (John 14:6). I thank God for America and my relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. 

Out of Control

The other day I was out working in my yard and found myself bummed out by how my backyard looks. During our remodeling our backyard was the dump for all the trash that would eventually be hauled away, so it was nearly impossible to do anything back there. Now that the mess is gone, it’s time to get it ready for the summer by doing some landscaping. Several years ago I decided that I wanted a maintenance-free backyard or at least as close as I could get to it being that way. So we took out all the grass, laid weed and grass barrier, planted some trees and bushes, and filled in the rest with mulch. Each year we’ve refreshed the mulch and touched up other areas but the yard has been pretty much maintenance free.

This year, something happened. Our easy to maintain backyard has gone crazy with growth. I’m amazed that the areas in my yard where I’d like to see grass growing never experience any growth yet an area where I removed all the grass now looks like a wild meadow. The grass is probably a foot tall and looks like nice, strong grass, but I don’t want it there. My weeds are growing so tall that they could almost be mistaken for trees. And everything we’ve done in the past to keep it simple is going to have to be redone. Now that our house is pretty much put back together, it’s going to be time to focus on our backyard and redoing a lot of the landscaping.

Have you ever noticed how our lives are like that? There are things that I try to eliminate from my life because they make life a little more difficult and I just don’t want to deal with those things any longer. I can clean things up, get priorities in order, and feel like I’m on the right track, and I can even maintain it for a period of time. Yet, as good as I am about making those changes and taking steps to make my life better, those undesirable things always have a way of trying to sneak back in. Those things remind me that my life needs to be evaluated and to turn to the Lord who can help me overcome them.

At the same time, I’m reminded that in my life there are areas where I really want to grow, but they need my constant attention and work to grow properly. It doesn’t just happen because I want it to; it happens because I put myself in position to stay strong and grow in those areas. All of us go through these battles and I want to encourage you that the out-of-control stuff can be brought back under control. It’s your life and you need to live it in the way that God has called you to live.