Unconditional Love

We all want to be loved and appreciated, and we live with this fear: “If the people around me knew the real me, they might not like me.” There’s a quote I read that put it this way: “I’m afraid to tell you who I am because if I really reveal what I’m like and if you don’t like it then I’m up a creek, because I’m all I got.” We take away the value we bring to a relationship. Sometimes we don’t give those around us the respect it takes to know that they love us and will continue to love us even though we’re not perfect. I struggle when I’m around people who try to fool me by acting as if they are perfect. Hello….none of us are perfect! Even Jesus condemned those men who brought the woman caught in adultery for acting as if they were perfect. Remember the story found in John 8? They brought this woman, and by law she was to be stoned, but Jesus looked at her and had nothing but love and compassion for her. He made a simple statement to the men, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” As those men stood there letting that statement sink in, they knew that they were not blameless, and so they all slowly turned and left until the only ones remaining were the woman and Jesus. But here is the amazing part of the story: Jesus looked at her and said that since no one else had condemned her, then neither did He. He told her, “Go and don’t sin any more.” The one who had every right to condemn her was the one who showed the greatest mercy.

Those who are closest to us should be shown the greatest mercy by us. Why? Because we understand that none of us are perfect, and we do not love them because they are perfect; we love them because God brought them to a very special place in our lives. This is real maturity—the character of Christ shining in our lives. I’ve seen it demonstrated in my family my whole life. One story that stands out occurred when Tami and I had only been married a few years. Tami’s grandfather was a great man, and he took great pride in his car. Every two years he’d trade it in and get another one. One afternoon Tami was at her parents’ house visiting and while she was there her grandfather drove in and parked behind Tami. Tami and I were driving a full-size converted van and she left that day to come home for the evening. She jumped in the van and didn’t think about a car being behind her and backed right into her grandfather’s new car. She was devastated and didn’t go inside to tell them what had happened, instead driving straight home and coming into the house crying because of what she’d done. She couldn’t face her grandfather getting mad at her, so I called him and explained what happened. His maturity kicked in and he had Tami get on the phone so he could console her. He affirmed his love for her, that a car can be repaired, and that the love of family is far more important than any car. There’s nothing more important in life than the love you give and receive from your family. They will be with you no matter what, so don’t be afraid to be honest about your feelings. 

I learned a great lesson that day. If it had been my car that was struck, because of my immaturity I would have said some things to Tami that wouldn’t have been very nice. The things I would have said would have made her feel worse than she already felt and I would have thought I was justified in saying them. Thank the Lord, I’m not that same man any longer. My family needs to understand my love for them. We are not perfect, but in Christ our love for one another can be made perfect. Work on building strong relationships with those who are closest to you. Love them, forgive them, and accept them for who they are.